i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
