normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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