it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
are you so shy because you have an std?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
