your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
