If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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