Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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