since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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