kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
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Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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