I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
