I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We need to get me chipped asap
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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