I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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