I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
