glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
