And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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