he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
