Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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