I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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