So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
did i walk over a car last night?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
