please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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