dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
accomplished twins. life is a go
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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