I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
