She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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