Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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