is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize