Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
