Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
