I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
