I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
