there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I need a burrito and a hug.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
