By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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