I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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