just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
