It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
