Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
