ugly people sure do ruin things
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
do herpes really smell.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
