I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
