just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
