five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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