if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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