All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
