first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
