Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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