My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
