Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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