Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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