office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
