i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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