hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
