come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
