The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it