i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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