My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize