you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
