i would punch a child for taco bell
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She bit a glass in half.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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