Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
