Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
