Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just want nice things and good sex
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize