This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
