Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
