U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
