Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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