I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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