saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
