did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
